Tucsons Slaughterhouse

"So until next time, remember: cardio, seat belts, and, well, sunscreen never hurt anybody.

I’m Columbus from Zombieland, saying good night." 

Words to live by? Absolutely. And if you’re about to face the horrors of Slaughterhouse in Tucson, you’re going to need every one of those rules.

Picture this: the team’s back in Tucson, standing smack dab in the middle of a former meatpacking plant spanning over 20,000 square feet. And for just $29, you get into the main haunt, or (trust me, take this option) for $39, you add on the Zombie Apocalypse experience. Yep, they throw you right into a simulated war zone where it’s you and a “military” squad against the undead. Let’s be honest, that extra ten bucks is a bargain to feel like you're a survivor in the Zombieland universe.

Now, you might be wondering, “How great can a haunt really be when it’s priced on the lower end?” Fair question! But here’s the thing: Slaughterhouse has been a mainstay in the Southwest haunt scene for two decades, consistently ranked as one of the scariest haunts in the region. The haunted mazes are long, meticulously crafted, and set up with some of the most detailed props, sets, and actors you’ll find. This family-run haunt puts in the work, and it shows in every hair-raising corner.

The Zombie Apocalypse portion kicks off when the “military” hustles you into a training room filled with some incredible weaponry—a choice between an automatic rifle or a handgun—before they rush you through a crash course in firing these bad boys. And these aren’t your run-of-the-mill laser tag toys; these weapons, invented right here in Tucson, are the real deal in simulation. We’re talking accurate weight, invisible laser targeting, and air-compressed metal ammo clips. These kick, reload, and run out of ammo just like the real thing, so pray you don’t have a reload moment during a zombie attack.

Outfitted with animatronics and actors rigged with visible and invisible targets, the zombies know exactly how many times they’ve been hit, how hard, and how to react when they go down. This setup means every shot counts, making you feel like you’re actually surviving a zombie-filled war zone.

Now, are you sold on the whole experience yet? As Billy Mays would say, “But wait, there’s more!”

Ever been to a haunt only to wait forever in line, packed in shoulder-to-shoulder, praying you can still feel terror after the endless wait? Slaughterhouse took that problem and squashed it. No lines, no crowd-jamming, no cattle call. Here’s the genius: you buy your ticket, give them your number, and head to the massive courtyard filled with food, merch, monster movies, beer, and axe-throwing until you get a text that it’s your turn. Just walk up and start. Welcome to the Halloween Princess treatment. You’ll never feel this spoiled at another haunt, where “VIP” status would cost you triple the price just to skip the line. It’s hands-down the most hassle-free setup you’ll find, and good luck spotting it anywhere else.

Now, here’s the catch: Slaughterhouse recently announced this is their last year. And if you’re thinking, “Please, let that be a cruel Halloween prank,” you’re not alone. This haunt’s truly one-of-a-kind, and it’ll be sorely missed if they close up shop for good.

So what are you waiting for? Grab your best zombie-slaying squad and make tracks for Slaughterhouse—before it’s gone.