Welcome back, readers. It’s that magical time of year when Santa’s sleigh jingles with the sounds of chainsaws, and mistletoe hangs precariously over terrifying clowns. At least, that’s the vibe Scarizona is going for with their holiday-themed haunted house. But does it deliver festive frights or just seasonal disappointments? Let’s unwrap this yuletide nightmare.

A Brief History of Holiday Haunts around these parts...

Before we dive into Scarizona’s first attempt at a Christmas horror event, let’s talk about the real MVPs of Krampus-themed terror. Until two years ago (Give or take), the folks at 13th Floor and Fear Farm were the undisputed champions of holiday horror. These legends crafted immersive, high-quality haunted experiences with new sets, props, and theming that transformed their October attractions into winter wonderlands of fear. Tickets sold out nightly, proving that people loved trading eggnog for screams.

But in this year, Scarizona has decided to step into the ring. Once a respected haunt, Scarizona has faced a steady decline, with deteriorating props, neglected sets, and the tragic loss of their once-popular zombie paintball experience. (RIP, paintball apocalypse.) Still, the promise of chainsaw-wielding Santas was enough to lure me in, so I donned my bravest holiday sweater and gave it a shot.

Fa la la la la....

General admission was priced around $32 before taxes and optional upgrades like the “fast pass.” For that, you get access to two haunted attractions. Well, when I arrived on a Sunday night, the parking lot was practically a ghost town. Less than 20 patrons wandered the grounds during my visit, a few of whom had splurged on the fast pass—presumably to avoid waiting in a line that didn’t exist. 

The silver lining? I got to go through each house alone,
which should have been terrifying. 

Instead, it felt… sad.

Deck the Halls? Not So Much

Let’s just say Scarizona’s holiday makeover was less “Christmas wonderland” and more “dollar store clearance aisle.” The layout of the haunts hadn’t changed since October, and the same props and broken animatronics were still in place. The only additions were a few strands of Dollar Tree Christmas lights and some hastily placed mini Christmas trees scattered in odd spots. 

The result? 

A haphazard, underwhelming mishmash that screamed, 

“We forgot Christmas was coming!”

And then there were the safety issues. Uneven ground posed a tripping hazard, and I spotted two exposed nails sticking out of a wall. (Pro tip: exposed nails should never be part of the theme.) One section of the house was completely pitch black, which might sound spooky in theory but ended up being more annoying than anything. It’s hard to be scared when all you’re thinking about is avoiding a twisted ankle.

Not everything was doom and gloom, though. 

The true stars of the night were the actors. Despite the lackluster setting, they gave it their all, delivering genuinely engaging and committed performances. Their costumes ranged from incredible to perplexing (clowns? Why?), but their enthusiasm was infectious.

 To the actors who might be reading this—bravo! 

You were the shining light in this disheveled holiday nightmare.

Final Thoughts: Naughty or Nice?

Scarizona’s attempt at a Christmas haunted house felt more like a half-hearted afterthought than a carefully crafted experience. With deteriorating sets, lazy decorations, and glaring safety issues, it’s hard to imagine anyone raving about this event. But the actors deserve all the praise for their dedication and effort, elevating an otherwise lackluster evening.

If Scarizona hopes to compete with the likes of 13th Floor or Fear Farm, they’ll need to step up their game—big time. Until then, maybe stick to watching Krampus at home and leave the chainsaws to the professionals.

After all, nothing says “Merry Christmas” like a clown with a chainsaw. 🎅🤡 
(Seriously, why include a chainsaw)
Luckily, they have a year to fix the unending issues before Halloween is upon us again. 

If Scarizona would like to reach out for consulting and to get back on track, feel free to contact us. 

I want you to walk away learning something

Did you know the concept of “Christmas haunted houses” has its roots in Krampus traditions? In European folklore, Krampus—the horned, devilish counterpart to Santa—was said to punish naughty children by dragging them to his lair. Modern holiday haunts channel this creepy Christmas spirit, offering a delightfully dark twist on holiday cheer. Unfortunately, Scarizona missed the mark on this tradition. 

I hereby solemnly swear to start a GoFundMe and pledge every penny to the first haunted house that dares to NOT overuse a chainsaw. 

Fear Farm in Glendale (2209 N 99th Ave, Glendale, AZ 85305) sits on a hefty chunk of land, and trust me, you’ll know you’re close when you see it looming on the horizon like the Disneyland of terror. They've been at this for 25 years, starting out as a humble “Haunted Cornfield” and blossoming into the Valley’s go-to fright fest. With four haunted houses included in the price of admission—and a chance to upsell you on a fifth house/cornfield combo—it’s hard to argue with the value.

In terms of sheer bang for your buck, Fear Farm is hands down the best deal in Phoenix. You get four houses for what you’d pay to enter just one at other haunts around town. So, grab some friends, have a little pre-game in the parking lot (designate a DD, obviously—no ghost rides home), and prepare to scream yourself hoarse.

Now, here’s where it gets interesting. A while back, the infamous 13th Floor chain swooped in and bought Fear Farm. And let me tell you, it’s been a bit of a downward spiral since. Sure, the sets inside the houses are still top-notch, and you’ll be hard-pressed to find another haunt with such immaculate detail. But the theming? That’s where it falls apart faster than a rubber skeleton left out in the Arizona sun. One of the haunts I walked through was supposedly a medical asylum theme, but then I was greeted by a dried-out alien prop, a half-baked “They Live” reference, and, to top it off, some clowns. It was like walking through a haunted house designed by someone playing Mad Libs.

And speaking of dried-out props, here’s a pop quiz: What happens when you leave rubber and pneumatic monsters baking in the Arizona heat for 365 days straight? That’s right—they turn into glorified scarecrow statues. Fear Farm’s got some serious static prop issues, and for a company raking in millions of dollars (over a million per haunted house, to be exact), you’d think they’d reinvest a little of that cash into refreshing the frights. But nope, we’re stuck with a collection of crispy, sun-bleached props that would rather crack than creep you out.

Last but certainly not least, let’s talk about something that should send shivers down your spine, and not in the good way: surge pricing. Yep, Fear Farm has embraced this dreaded ticketing trend, which means that if a particular night gets busy, the prices shoot up faster than your heart rate in a haunted house. And don’t even think about loading the website when everyone else is—it’s like trying to buy concert tickets, but for terror. Yikes.

In conclusion, Fear Farm is still a good time, especially for the price. Just don’t be surprised when you walk into a haunted house that feels like it’s playing Halloween prop bingo.